hahahaha, one of them says that she's already starting to lose it and eric has just opened a new chapter in his life, being a pot smoker. I'm really happy them. Finally, they have started doing the main purpose of their lives. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. KNK na pala uli ako, but this time, strict time management must be implemented because i'm being bombarded with lots of schoolwork. Every friday na lang ang practices and weekdays are dedicated for school. Kailangang maging Magna cum Laude ako!!! Si yarden pala wala pa ding gitara, kaya baka hindi siya maka jam sa amin this saturday

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Balik tayo sa tinutukoy ko kanina. Hey you, the little girl who lives inside a castle in bf, you're not crazy! Could please anyone who's using this damn blog prove to me that's a person is already crazy when he/she feels something weird or blah blah blah you all know the craziness stuffs so i don't need to explain it more further. Yes, there are systems, guidelines and buch of stuffs that tells us on how to detect if someone is already crazy. But the thing is, does anybody from the group that published the guidelines experienced being a crazy human being? Iba ang nararamdaman sa inoobserbahan. Wala lang, relax naman sana kahit konti lang. Malungkot kayo parehas alam ko. May tito ako na nabaliw (and then namatay after 2 years ata? kasi hindi na nagkakakain). Mga pinsan na nababaliw na (anak sila nung tito ko na namatay sa schizophrenia. I don't know kung yun ba ang term sa sakit niya kasi hindi na ako nakibalita pagkauwi niya ng cebu). I want to say something for the two of you but i can't find the exact words that will perfectly describe your condition and maybe provide you a temporary state of hapiness. But what the heck! I'm your friend!!!! gawin nyo lang ginagawa ninyo hahahahahaha at gusto kong ma experience na magkaroon ng kaibigang mababaliw at ng isang....ewan LOLL bahala kayo sa buhay ninyo. Basta sa huli pag wala na akong ginagawa masyado at andun na kayo sa point na ayaw ninyong mapuntahan, which is pagiging isang baliw at pagiging isang tao na ayaw na sumaya, sasaluhin na lang namin kayo. sasakyan kung ano trip ninyo. pramis.

 

 

   11 na ng gabi. Sa wakas natapos din mga assignments ko. It's been a while since i've done this thing. Kung may nakakabasa man nito (wala naman akong ineexpect) pasensya, kasi paiba iba kaagad yung sinasabi ko, kung ano man ang inilalagay ko dito ngayon eh yun ang na-process na info ng utak ko at gusto niyang idura na para makapag isip na ng panibagong ideas. May mga taong humihingi ng oras ko sa ngayon, pero hindi ko alam kung paano ibibigay at stressed out ako sa school. Hindi naman porke nag college ka na dati eh alam mong sanay ka na sa ganito. Kagaya nga ng nasabi ko sa pinakauna ko na post, buhay ko na pag ako na mag isa ang pinag uusapan dito. Oo, hindi ko naisip itong mga ganito dati, kung pumasok na siya noon panandalian lang siya nagtagal, hinipo lang ng sandali aking isip. So as i was saying, gusto ko masolo muna tong oras nato at ibigay para makapagpahinga isip ko tsaka katawan. Hay, sa ngayon ang nakakasagot lang sa mga tanong ko ay ang aking gitara. Yan lang ang nag iisang bagay na marunong pumigil ng mga sumasaliwa kong ideya. Kasi pag may gusto ako sabayan na kanta inuulit ulit ko at hindi pwedeng mag iba kaagad kasi nakikipag coordinate siya sa aking tenga, kamay at damdamin. Kaya ayun, hindi ko nga kinausap din girlfriend ko kasi parang pressured din ako na kausapin niya, hindi naman siya yung pumipilit sa akin. Minsan kailangan mo pala lumayo sa iniikutan mo no? kasi parang pinipiga ka na lang palagi. Sesession uli ako kila paul sa sabado, ngayon hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba talaga tumugtog o napipilitan lang. Pag tumugtog ako, may sasabihin yung mga tao, pag hindi ganun din. Tsaka baka umulan nanaman ng gagawin mahirap na. Hindi ba pwedeng balanse na lang muna ang mga bagay kahit sandali lang? Nawawala yung saya ko sa buhay ko eh. Buti pa yung gitara, pulutin ko lang at tugtugin, alam ko na sasaya na kaagad ako. Gusto ko rin pumunta kila sep kasi doon ko lang nararamdaman na nakakasama ko sarili ko. Sana bukas hindi na ganito kasi madami nanaman ang mag rereact, mamatay yata ako sa pakikisama, sa pag iisip ng kung may masasagasaan ba ako sa gagawin ko o wala. Sila eric pala nanood ng up dharma down. SInabi ko na lang sa kanila na wala akong pera. Pero ang totoo, may pera ako kaso may pinag iipunan lang. Kaya ayun hindi na ako sumama. Tama, siguro hindi na muna ako makikipag usap sa mga nakapaligid sa akin. Kahit ngayong gabi lang, hindi na ako nakakapag isa eh. malamang hindi matatapos to, sasarilinin ko na lang uli.

              I've just finished my class in Math for Computing. A while ago, we we're asked by the professor for our nicknames. Then suddenly, someone utterered "you can call me Jr, with a capital J". Hahahahahaha tangena now how am i gonna call him or her? "Hey you, the guy/gal with the capital J!". Or like this "Hey Mr./Ms capital J". hahahahahaha. Normally capital letters are used in proper names or when starting  a sentence blah blah blah. hahahahaha. Please kill me. Oh, before i forgot, have you ever heard the genre "Dance punk"? Ridiculous isn't it? Maybe it is a new marketing strategy for the mainstream people. Well done. We could have different views with regards to the so called genre, and i perceived it to be one of the most over-rated of music or genre that i've heard. On the other hand, their song was catchy but labelling themselves killed the band. Just like jazz artists. How can someone, or even a band claim that they are doing jazz if they don not practice IMPROVISATION. Sorry, that was only my idea on how jazz is supposed to be played. Sweet tunes, melody, rythmic structure sounds good, it may be compromised of "jazz chords", rhythyms, etc etc etc. A chord is a chord for god's sake.  ahhhhhh. damn. Sabi nga ni idol, "you are not doing jazz if you don't do improvisations". I'm not that good but i'm already started to preach about these things. Sorry. . Saka na pala ako mag aayos ng layout pag nagkatime, dami pa ginagawa sobra eh.

Hi,

at last, i have started my journey on rebuilding and regaining the former me. Like a jigsaw puzzle, patiently picking up the pieces and putting it in a spot where it perfectly fits. Shame, guilt, arrogance, spiralled in and out of my mind for the past 6 years. Trapped. It's like that i've been sick for that long, taking medicines that produces ephemeral redress. But then suddenly angels, the delirious and demented ones, pulled me out of the pit and brought me to a place where sanity and consciousness is abundant. When we arrived there, one of them gave me something, it was the sense of equilibrium, the silent one gave my smile back, smaller ones laughed with me after that, another small angel took the responsibility of taking care of me and loving me unconditionally, lastly the older ones gave me words of wisdom and trust...... Up to this day, they are still with me, constantly  guiding me and helping me survive throughout the day. Thank you. Hope that i won't ever ever ever fail everyone again. pasensya di ko alam kung tama grammar ko, oh the hell with it, at least i've tried. hahaha